Alex and his uncle survived the rest of the hectic day, with only a few major mistakes and lost customers to speak of. Over the next week things settled down somewhat at Goodburger Diner as Bud was able to find a new cook, Herb, to fill the vacancy left by Tammy. In recognition of Alex’s capable performance in the midst of crisis, his uncle decided to promote him to waitstaff duties rather than hire a replacement for Fran, although he was still expected to take out trash and clean the facility as he had done before. With the change in staff and the increased responsibilities, both Bud and Alex were too busy to realize after the next week that “Now Hiring” was still displayed in the diner’s marquee sign, even though Bud had no intention of spending any additional funds on expanding his staff. This simple fact would not come to their attention until the middle of the following week.
It was a warm Wednesday morning when Alex found himself sweeping the entrance outside the Goodburger Diner. The restaurant would open in just one more hour at 11 a.m., and Alex wasn’t looking forward to another day of juggling his busboy and waiter responsibilities, even if the diner could only count on a few customers for business. In fact, he was so busy sorting through his own complaints and bad attitudes in his head that he didn’t hear the sound of approaching footsteps or notice the large figure drawing near to his side. When an outsized, white-gloved hand furtively tapped him on his shoulder, his thought pattern broke and he turned to recognize the presence that he assumed was his uncle coming to provide additional instructions for the day.
“Yes, sir…?” Alex responded routinely. He set his broom on the concrete sidewalk and turned casually to face the individual. In a split second, his mind registered that this was not Uncle Bud, much less anyone – or anything – that he recognized, and his eyes widened.
“Whoa!” Alex yelped instinctually, jumping back in a startled fit. It was as if he was swallowing his own exclamation out of the jolt of fear that sent shockwaves from the top of his head to his toes. He wasn’t sure if he should run inside and get help or if he should pinch his cheek to wake himself from some strange dream.
What stood in front of Alex seemed to be beyond imagination. It looked like a large hamburger with arms coming out of its top bun and two legs sprouting out beneath its heel. Its top bun, or crown, was golden brown with large seeds sprinkled evenly on the surface, and the scent of freshly-baked bread and warm butter surrounded its entire being. The sunlight reflected off the top of its perfectly-rounded bun to give it a bright shine, like a newly wrapped package. Protruding from the left and right sides of the crown extended two long, skinny arms that were as black as crickets’ legs, and on the ends of each arm were massive, white gloves that puffed out as if they were filled with helium. The gloves appeared extremely soft and flexible as the being notably wiggled its fingers in nervousness, although they weren’t completely smooth but seemed to be more similar to the texture of a marshmallow. Beneath its crown appeared to be tufts of oversized lettuce leaves poking out and away in random directions, like a frazzled head of unruly hair, and slices of gigantic, red tomatoes lay evenly below the greenery. Alex could observe that the being had no eyes, ears, nose, or mouth, but at its center was a rounded disc of hardened, brown substance. He assumed at first that the burger’s patty would be composed of ground beef, but upon closer look he detected that the patty had no grease whatsoever, nor did it carry the odor of cooked meat. He was absolutely dumbstruck as to what the core of the burger-being was made of, but it appeared pocked and bumpy, like a giant sponge painted dark brown. Beneath the patty Alex could see globs of red, cream, and yellow colors in assorted fashion, accompanied by the ridged ends of green pickle slices. The soft, brown heel supported the patty and its condiments and pickles beneath, and its crusted surface appeared to be firm and quite rougher than the crown. Extending like black plastic toothpicks from the bottom of the heel to the ground were the being’s two legs, and each leg ended with comically large, clunky shoes that were made of shiny, black leather with no laces or buckles to notice. Standing at its full height, it was nearly as tall as Alex. It seemed to him a marvel that the being should stand firm since its great weight was supported by such small, skinny legs, but it appeared to be quite balanced and nimble. As Alex surveyed what he could only guess was either an elaborately disguised human or a hamburger magically brought to life, the burger rocked back and forth on its feet, patiently waiting for Alex’s response.
After silently staring at the unknown hamburger-person and rubbing his eyes, he realized he was indeed awake, although he did not believe he was in immediate danger. It was time to determine who – or what – this being was and why it wanted to talk to him.
“My name is Alex…can I help you?”
to be continued...
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